AJ (mondler_4ever) wrote in hsm_fanfictions,

Learning to Love by mondler_4ever, PG-13

Title: Learning to Love  
Author: Me
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Troy is willing to teach Ryan to love. 
Notes: This is the sequel to On This Merry-Go-Round. 

“Oh God grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change
The courage to change the things that I can
The wisdom to know the difference
Oh God give me the courage to love with an open heart,
 I wanna love with an open heart”
-India Arie
“Loving (Intro)”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” The muscular boy screamed at me. I winced at the power of his voice as I moved further into the corner that I was blocked in.  My mouth was busted from getting punched a few seconds before, so I couldn’t answer him.
“Answer me, damnit!” He smacked me hard across the face, further damaging my mouth. I yelled out in pain and began crying.
Tyler, please stop! Please!” I pleaded loudly and it hurt with every word.
“And why should I, Ryan?! Huh? You make me like this! You make me want to hurt you. You just keep pissing me off and I’m tired of it! You cheated on me with Troy fucking Bolton! I saw you hugging him outside your house! ” He shouted and then punched me hard in my stomach, knocking the air out of me.
“I’m…sor…sorry.” I gasped, sliding down on the floor clutching my stomach.
“SHUT UP!” He screamed. I couldn’t plead with him again because he grabbed me roughly by my neck and yanked me up. He pressed me hard against the wall and quickly began to squeeze the life out of me. I desperately tried to free his hands from my neck but he was too strong. I was gasping for air and begging him to stop. He just looked at me with death eyes and continued to strangle me. I once more attempted to free myself from his grip but nothing. Giving up, I succumbed to my fate. I breathed one last breath and was gone.
I bolted straight up in my bed and found myself alive and drenched in my own sweat. I brought my hands around my neck and frantically started feeling around that area. I brought them down from my neck and let them roam over the other side of my bed for my number one source of comfort.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it lightly. He immediately awoke and sat up next to me. It didn’t take long for him to figure out what was wrong. He pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms securely around me. I buried my head in the crook of his neck and cried. Troy kissed me gently on my cheek and forehead, whispering comforting words. I was calmed by them and the feel of his hand rubbing my back.
I hate it when I’m like this. I have the same nightmare at least twice a week and they feel realer and realer every time. Sometimes I wake up alone because Troy wasn’t over my house or vice versa. When he’s not with me, I sometimes called for Sharpay, but I don’t like waking her every time I have a nightmare.
My tears subsided and I removed my head from Troy’s shoulders. He continued to rub my back and we silently sat in thought. I looked out my bedroom window, staring at the moon. I just wanted to concentrate on my boyfriend’s touch and nothing else.
“Are you going to be ok?” He asked softly. My gaze broke away from the moon and I looked at him and nodded.
“I’m sorry for waking you up.” I said in the same voice. Troy kissed me lightly on my lips and shook his head.
“Baby, you know that I don’t mind it. I know how these nightmares get. Don’t ever hesitate to wake me. I need to know that you are alright. You don’t have to go through this alone.” He consoled. “I wish I could be with you every night, so that you have someone. I love you, Ryan.”
I smiled and nodded at him. These were the times where I wished that I could say that I loved him back. I just can never bring my self to utter those three simple but complex words. I sometimes wondered if he ever got a bit frustrated with me for not returning the words. I don’t think he would ever tell me that, but I still can’t help but feel bad.
“Are you ready to go back to sleep?”
I glanced over at the digital clock, sitting on my nightstand, and it read a quarter after two. I breathed deeply and nod in response.
He slid me off of his lap and laid me back down on the bed. He pulled me into his embrace, his hands resting on my stomach, and wrapped the blanket around us. I captured one his hands into mine and I could feel him smile at the contact. He kissed me on my forehead and tightened his grip on me and wished me a goodnight.
Troy had left around midday. He wanted to practice basketball and then get ready for our date that night. I hugged him tightly and we shared a passionate kiss. He grinned like a fool before driving off. I waved after him and decided to go fix me some lunch.

I obtained all of the necessary things from the refrigerator and started fixing my lunch.
“So, how was your night with loverboy?” I heard a playful voice behind me. I grinned and turned around to face my twin sister.
“It was innocent as usual. We’re not like you and Zeke.”
“Haha, very funny.” She replied sarcastically. I smiled and continued making lunch.
Sharpay walked over to the counter, where I was standing, and peaked over my shoulder.
“Whatcha making?” She asked.
“A sandwich…for me.” I answered.
“Aww, can’t you make one for your big sis?” She pouted. I rolled my eyes.
“First of all, you’re only older than me by five minutes and second of all…sure.” I sighed in defeat and began making Sharpay a sandwich.
After lunch was made, Sharpay and I decided to sit out on the balcony, since it was nice outside. We settled down and began eating. After a few moments Sharpay broke the comfortable silence.
“So…how was your night?” She asked before taking a sip of her iced tea. I finished chewing the piece of sandwich in my mouth and brushed the crumbs off of my fingers before answering.
“I thought I already told you that Troy and I did nothing.”
“Yeah, but how did you sleep? Any nightmares?” She questioned, concerned.
I sighed, “Yeah. The same one as usual but this one felt so real. This time…Tyler actually killed me and then I woke up.”
“Oh, Ryan.” Sharpay said softly, reaching over the table and grabbing my hand.
Troy comforted me back to sleep. It’s just a stupid nightmare, there’s nothing to worry about.” I said shaking my head and I released my hand from Sharpay’s.
“Ryan, they’re not just stupid nightmares. They’re keeping you up at night and stressing you out! I hate that bastard for what he did to you!” She cried.
“No, Ryan! It pains me to see that someone who is out of your life is still haunting you and making your life complete hell!” She was full out crying now. I scooted over next to her and wrapped my arms around her.
“Shar, my life isn’t complete hell. I know that it’s not like I want it but what gets me through is mom, dad, Troy and you. I would be so gone if it wasn’t for you. You’re the closest to me, my twin, my other half and my best friend.” I said to her.
“I thought Troy was your best friend?” She sniffled. I smiled at her.
“Well, Troy is my second best friend. But you, Sharpay, are my best-est friend.” She laughed at that and shifted so she could hug me properly.
“I love you so much, Ryan. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She whispered.
I kissed her cheek and whispered back to her, “Same here, Sharpay. Same here.”
“Ryan, Troy’s here.” She informed through my half opened door. I gave her thanks and turned back to my mirror. Troy was taking me to dinner and a movie or maybe the other way around, I wasn’t sure. But I knew that I’d have fun either way. I smoothed out my green polo shirt and fidgeted with my light jeans before going downstairs to greet Troy.
He was sitting on the couch, looking through the family photo album for the millionth time. I smiled at his cuteness.
“Hey Troy.” I said, making myself known.
He looked up and grinned. “Hey Ryan, you ready go?” I nodded and made my way all the way down the steps as he put the photo album back in its place. We hugged and kissed each other for a few moments. We were interrupted by the clearing of a throat. We broke apart and looked over at Sharpay.
“Get a room.”

I stuck my tongue out at her and she did the same. We laughed afterwards. She wished us a goodnight and Troy and I were out the door.
He opened the car door for me and then got into the drivers seat.
“You look nice tonight, baby.” He said.
“You don’t look bad yourself.” I returned, looking at his clothes. He was dressed in a plain black shirt and dark jeans. He looked nice in anything.
We ended up going to see the movie first. I let Troy decide and he chose a comedy. He kept me close to him during the whole film. He wrapped his arms around my shoulder and laced our hands together. He’d then occasionally whispered ‘I love you’. I would smile and lift our connected hands up the kiss the back of his.
After the movie was finished, we drove across the street to one of our favorite restaurants, Chili’s. We got seated and ordered our meals. We talked about everything, as we usually did on our dates. I felt this tug in my heart that evening and it was something very new.
After our date, we came back to my house and decided to enjoy the rest of the night out on the balcony. It was always so peaceful out there. A nice place for me and him to have some ‘us’ time. We stood up against the rail and looked up at the sky. The moon was very bright and was bouncing off of the lake perfectly. We were comfortably silent, just enjoying each others presence. Troy moved closer to me and lifted my chin up to kiss me. I loved his kisses. He always knew the right time to do it. They were enough to calm down or to shut me up. We broke apart and smiled at each other before turning our attention back at the moon.
“Ryan?” Troy started, seconds later.
“Do you love me?” He asked, like it was the simplest question in the world. I never expected him to ask me that. When I didn’t respond he continued. “Well, I love you so much, as you know, but…”
“You would like to hear me return it.” I finished for him. He looked at me and nodded.
“I mean, sometimes I think that if I say it enough then you would realize that I mean it and you would say it back. But I know that you’re still trying to figure things out, after what a happened with Tyler a few months ago. So it must be hard to have to trust someone again.” Troy said.
Troy, I do trust you and I know that you love me. Trust me; I do believe it when you say it. It’s just, sometimes I wonder if everything we have is too good to be true and that if I say it then what we have would just fall apart.” I confessed. Troy caressed my cheek after I said that.
“Ryan, I don’t think that I could ever leave you. And if I ever thought about it, I would get Sharpay to slap some sense into me.” He laughed and I did too. “If anything ever happened to cause a rift in our relationship then I would put in everything I have to make everything alright again. This is what I’m doing right now, about you and your nightmares. I’m trying to help you deal with everything that has happened to you and heal those old wounds. I want you to have a good night’s rest again. Again, I don’t mind comforting you, but I hate to see you stressed out. I hate to see you cry about everything that has happened. It breaks my heart knowing that you’re hurting.” He said, starting to cry. Everything he was saying was just right. Maybe I could say that I loved him. I sighed and gently wiped his tears away and hugged him tight.
“Sometimes, I’m afraid to love you.” I whispered. Troy stepped away from me to look me in the eye.
“Please don’t be afraid to love me. Ryan, I will always be right here for you. I’m not going anywhere. I honestly don’t know what I would do without you.” He said, pulling me back into the hug.
“Me either. You make me so happy, Troy.” He just hugged me tighter. We continued to stand there, on the balcony, just holding each other. I closed my eyes and kissed him on his cheek.
“I love you.”
Troy leaned me back to take a good look at me.

“I love you.” I repeated. He broke out into the biggest smile ever and kissed me soft and lovingly on the mouth. I melted into the kiss just as he pulled away. He lightly kissed me all over my face. I cried softly at the affection.
“Gosh, I love you so much, Ryan. Thank you for loving me back.” We then continued to kiss.   
I was glad too.
Teach me how to love,
when the sun turns to rain
How to give too much,
Without expecting back the same
Teach me how to love,
when I’ve lost my way
How to not give up
When I wanna run away
Teach me how to love
-Alexz Johnson
“Teach Me How to Love”
Author’s Note: I really hoped you liked it. It’s obviously not as long as the first one, but it does justice, I think. I didn’t proofread this, but there shouldn’t be nothing that will irk you too much. Please review and listen to those songs. They really fit the mood of the story.
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